Giving 110% at Work: A Cynical Mathematical Analysis

April 16, 2007
Everyone should feel excited about what they do each day (or try to focus on whatever exciting bits of work that they can).  But the mounds of corporate-speak generated about this have created understandable employee backlash.  Here, a cynical Dilbertian "mathematical analysis" that has been around for quite a while (although I'd never seen it until now) It asks the questions: What makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? It then offers a little mathematical formula to help answer them: If each of the letters: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26. Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96% A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% But...  B.S. (I won't write it out) = 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103% and "A' K'ing" (ditto) = 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118% So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that, while hard work and knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there, it's the other two things that may put you over the top.
Everyone should feel excited about what they do each day (or try to focus on whatever exciting bits of work that they can).  But the mounds of corporate-speak generated about this have created understandable employee backlash.  Here, a cynical Dilbertian "mathematical analysis" that has been around for quite a while (although I'd never seen it until now) It asks the questions: What makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? It then offers a little mathematical formula to help answer them: If each of the letters: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26. Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96% A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% But...  B.S. (I won't write it out) = 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103% and "A' K'ing" (ditto) = 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118% So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that, while hard work and knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there, it's the other two things that may put you over the top.
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