Chemistry Is the Past, Mike. We Are the Future

If you haven’t been exposed to “xtranormal” yet, the video below is a good introduction. Xtranormal allows you to create virtual conversations between characters you create. Here, Mike is a chemist in his first day on the job at a major pharma company, while Heidi is charged with his orientation. As you’ll see, life in Big Pharma is not all that Mike had thought it would be.

Mike, fresh out of graduate school, is eager to get started. But as he soon learns, he must first endure a healthy dose of Kaizen, 5S and other “substitutes for individual thinking.” It’s all a bit foreign for Mike.

Heidi: Did you learn nothing in graduate school?

Mike: I am a chemist. I thought you hired me to do chemistry.

Heidi: Chemistry is the past, Mike. We are the future . . . You won’t be doing any chemistry. Mostly, your job will consist mainly in selecting jobs in China where that chemistry may be outsourced.

Mike: So we then we just come up with the ideas here?

Heidi: No, we mostly get our ideas from other companies, either by acquiring the companies or by licensing in their projects.

The sketch is the work of a group called ZombieSymmetry, whose bio on its YouTube channel bills the video as part of “a collection of scientists, misfits, and corporate stooges at an imaginary pharmaceutical plant must deal with endless inane corporate ‘initiatives’ while struggling to maintain their sanity.” Enjoy their irreverence. You can find similar fun on ZombieSymmetry's YouTube channel.

--Paul Thomas