You know you’re an engineer if…

...Belated Happy New Year, and some frivolous fun (self-deprecating engineer humor) from an unlikely source: the German engineering firm Bosch-Rexroth. You'll find the source via the "Creative Diversions" section of the company's web site, on http://www.boschrexroth.com/country_units/america/united_states/en/Creative_Diversions/index.jsp  Don't worry. More-serious postings to come later this week.   From Their "Top 10" You know youre an engineer if... In college you thought Spring Break was a type of metal fatigue At home, you rearrange the dishwasher to maximize dirty dish density You own a software program to design the furniture layout in your house You've tried to repair a $5 radio, and used $20 worth of solder to do it You have no life and can prove it mathematically You spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring You've already calculated how much money you make per second More...
  1. You use Net Meetings for family get togethers
  2. have as many pocket protectors for your shirt as you have neckties
  3. You didnt know Spam was originally a food product
  4. You ask if you can blog someone after the first date
  5. You are the first person to camp out for Star Trek convention tickets
  6. You dream in CAD
  7. You have solutions for problems that nobody has...yet
  8. You like repairing things more than actually using them
  9. Your kids new toys are more inspiration to you than to them
  10. When time is moving much too fast for you, but you still count it by the nanosecond
  11. Your main currencies are Meter, Second, Ampere, Kilogram and Kelvin rather than Dollars or Yen
  12. You introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife"
  13. Your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
  14. You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
  15. You want an 8X CDROM for Christmas
  16. Dilbert is your hero
  17. You can name 6 Star Trek episodes
  18. The only jokes you receive are through e-mail
  19. Your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50
  20. Your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place
  21. You use a CAD package and a windtunnel to design and test your son's Pine Wood Derby car
  22. You have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts
  23. At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string
  24. You window shop at Radio Shack
  25. Your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies
  26. You have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area
  27. You carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run
  28. You are convinced you can build a phaser out of your garage door opener and your camera's flash attachment
  29. You don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is
  30. You have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven
  31. You own "Official Star Trek" anything
  32. Tou have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside
  33. You and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception
  34. You ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project
  35. You are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor
  36. You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
  37. You have never backed-up your hard drive
  38. You are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud
  39. You truly believe aliens are living among us
  40. You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance
  41. You have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is"
  42. You see a good design and still have to change it
  43. The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions
  44. You still own a slide rule and you know how to work it
  45. The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind
  46. You own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember where they are
  47. You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires
  48. You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal
  49. You have more toys than your kids
  50. You need a checklist to turn on the TV
  51. You have introduced your kids by the wrong name
  52. You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work
  53. Your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight
  54. The microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it
  55. You can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary
  56. You have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already
  57. You have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for
  58. Your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up thinking that was normal
  59. You know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size screwdriver to use
  60. You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting
  61. People groan at the party when you pick out the music
  62. You can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week
  63. You did the sound system for your senior prom
  64. Your checkbook always balances
  65. Your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone
  66. You have more friends on the Internet than in real life
  67. You thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission controllers
  68. You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep
  69. You spend more on your home computer than your car
  70. You know what http stands for
  71. You have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your garage
  72. Your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory
  73. Your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate
  74. You and your son built a tv from scratch just for fun
  75. You're mad because this list didn't end on a round number
  76. When at a BBQ you argue about the heat cooking energy to cook one 5 pound tenderloin vs. 5 one pound steaks
  77. You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines
  78. You order pizza over the Internet and pay for it with your home banking software
  79. All your sentences begin with "what if"
  80. Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma
  81. Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room
  82. On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than someone else who is reading a John Grisham novel
  83. The blinking 12:00 on someone's VCR draws you like a tractor beam to fix it
  84. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on the salesperson talking with customers, you butt in to correct him, and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions while the salesperson stands silently by, nodding his head
  85. You are always late to meetings
  86. You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling
  87. You are still drinking Mr. Pibb
  88. You are at a wine tasting and you find yourself paying more attention to the cork screws than the '84 Chardonnay
  89. You bought your wife a new CD Rom for her birthday
  90. You can name at least 6 Star Trek episodes
  91. You can quote the scenes from any Monty Python movie.
  92. You can't fit any more colored pens in your pocket
  93. You disdain people who use low baud rates
  94. You do Darth Vader or Battlestar Galactica impersonations by talking into a spinning fan
  95. You drive a Gremlin with a "Beam me up Scotty" bumper sticker
  96. You ever forgot to get a haircut... for 6 months
  97. You find yourself at the airport on your vacation studying the baggage handling equipment
  98. You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards to see how they do the special effects
  99. You have ever debated who was a better captain: Kirk or Picard
  100. You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you have been married
  101. You just don't have the heart to throw away the 100-in-1 electronics kit you got for your ninth birthday
  102. You know how to take the cover off your computer and what size screwdriver to use
  103. You know the altitude limits for turning on and off electronic equipment on commercial flights
  104. You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys
  105. You remember half a dozen passwords and your ten-digit Compuserve address, but you have to call your niece "kiddo"
  106. You rooted for HAL
  107. You talk about the high resolution and picture-in-picture capability of your big screen TV while everybody is watching the Superbowl
  108. You talk about trellis code modulation at parties
  109. You think a pocket protector is a fashion accessory
  110. You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends" but forget to send your father a birthday card
  111. You think Sales and Marketing are Satan's children
  112. You think your computer looks better without the cover
  113. You thought the contraption ET used to phone home was stupid
  114. You walk around with your hands in your front pockets 99% of the time
  115. You wear black socks with white tennis shoes (or vice versa)
  116. You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon
  117. Your dress clothes come from Sears
  118. Your favorite actor is R2D2
  119. Your favorite character on Gilligan's Island was "The Professor"
  120. Your favorite James Bond character is "Q," the guy who makes the gadgets
  121. Your favorite place in San Francisco is the Exploratorium
  122. Your favorite TV show is "New Yankee Workshop"
  123. Your girlfriend says the way you dress is no reflection on her
  124. Your idea of a "good read" is the Edmund Scientific catalog
  125. Your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place
  126. Your Internet bill is higher than your long distance charges
  127. Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work
  128. Your wardrobe looks like you shop at Goodwill
  129. Your wife thinks your taste in ties is bizarre
  130. You consider yourself well dressed if your socks match
  131. You wear a moustache or beard for "efficiency"
  132. You have a non-technical vocabulary of 800 words
  133. You know the second law of thermodynamics but not your shirt size
  134. Someone tells you its a nice day, and you respond with "it's 70 degrees Fahrenheit, 25 degrees Celsius, and 298 degrees Kelvin"
  135. You know the ABCs of Infrared from A to B
  136. You make 4 sets of drawings (with seven revisions) before making a bird bath
  137. Politically correct people call you "organizationally challenged"
-AMS